OR: My Warning to Chicago Drivers
Come sit around the campfire with me as I tell you the spooky tale of the Possessed Intersection. It was late one night, not so long ago, that a friend and I were driving home from a lovely dinner. We decided to take Halsted (a major road, and the street I live just off of) home instead of the highway, in order to avoid any late night traffic. My car is small, but fierce on the road and we were making good time.
It was as we approached the Halsted/Division intersection that my life changed forever. It was a green light and the old train tracks that ran across the street did not worry me since they lay pretty flat against the ground. I took them at normal speeds and then CRASHBOOMBANG! My right front hubcap flew off into the distance and my car rattled in fury.
There, just beyond the tracks, hidden, even from my headlights, was a daemonic hole, created by the most vile of circumstances for the sole purpose of ruining what had been a delightful night. I felt sure that I was alone in being terrorized by this beast.
We got out of my car to search for my hubcap, alas, it was no where in sight. We searched all corners
of the intersection, wondering if perhaps another car had pushed it in some unforeseen direction, no luck. Until I thought I spotted it on the final corner. Heedless of the oncoming traffic I made a mad-dash for it, grabbed it from the gutter, only to be disappointed to find that it belonged to a Geo and not my beautiful (albeit ridiculous) Yaris.
That is when I saw the most unholy of sights, proof that I had not been the first victim of this most evil of cross-ways, a metal fence lined with the lost hubcaps of other unsuspecting vehicles. All hope was lost, this maniacal pothole had claimed my wheel cover
forever. I drove the rest of the way home in despair.
When I next passed this intersection, all of the hubcaps were gone. So, heed my warning, fair reader, do not trust this most treacherous of intersections, it is out to steal your vehicle's beauty and youth.
It was as we approached the Halsted/Division intersection that my life changed forever. It was a green light and the old train tracks that ran across the street did not worry me since they lay pretty flat against the ground. I took them at normal speeds and then CRASHBOOMBANG! My right front hubcap flew off into the distance and my car rattled in fury.
There, just beyond the tracks, hidden, even from my headlights, was a daemonic hole, created by the most vile of circumstances for the sole purpose of ruining what had been a delightful night. I felt sure that I was alone in being terrorized by this beast.
We got out of my car to search for my hubcap, alas, it was no where in sight. We searched all corners
That is when I saw the most unholy of sights, proof that I had not been the first victim of this most evil of cross-ways, a metal fence lined with the lost hubcaps of other unsuspecting vehicles. All hope was lost, this maniacal pothole had claimed my wheel cover
When I next passed this intersection, all of the hubcaps were gone. So, heed my warning, fair reader, do not trust this most treacherous of intersections, it is out to steal your vehicle's beauty and youth.
Comments